


Spiraling

by lotorotor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Insecurity, Jealousy, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lotor and Allura as friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 19:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotorotor/pseuds/lotorotor
Summary: Keith just wants Lotor to himself, but he feels like that’s too much to ask for





	Spiraling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reyson](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Reyson).



> For Reyson!~ hope you enjoy!
> 
> I ended up writing 2 prompts so this is just part 1 :3c

Keith had to admit, he didn't have a lot of experience in this sort of thing. On Earth, he'd been a loner; too angry to do much more than push people away… except for Shiro, that is. He’d been a brother to Keith in the most important way. Without Shiro, Keith wouldn’t be who he is today. No one had ever wanted to stand too close, and he'd been okay with that. He liked to be alone.   


Okay, he  _ used _ to like to be alone. Space was cold and vast and mostly empty, but in the abyss, he had found warmth. Family. He had bonds with people, real bonds that he wanted to last.    


Most importantly, he had Lotor.   


But no, his experience was limited. Non existent, really. And this thing he had with Lotor was very new, to the point where it felt almost fragile. Even more so due to his lack of experience.   


Lotor had experience. Of this, Keith was well aware. He tried not to let it bother him.   


Try was the keyword. Try. Try was very different from do. Try was a far cry from success. 

So of course, when Keith saw Lotor off with Allura, his heart pinched. His stomach churned. It was bad because Keith knew,  _ knew _ , that Allura was leagues better than him. She was a princess, beautiful and ethereal, with clouds of white hair. And she was Altean, the half of Lotor that he liked the best. Lotor, who thirsted for as much Altean knowledge as he could glean, who admired that part of his ancestry with all of his heart. Whose Galra half was the half that belonged to Zarkon and the Empire.    


Keith was Galra. A walking reminder of everything wrong with the universe. A reminder of the people that had...  _ hurt _ Lotor. He was well aware of that, and he hated it.    


And Lotor was with Allura constantly. What was worse, was that he looked so happy with her. He laughed, and his smile was bright. He was beautiful. Keith wanted to be the one to make him look so beautiful, not Allura.   


Keith didn't dwell on it. He  _ didn't _ . Well, he didn't when he had Lotor with him, in front of him, right there. Where he could feel him under his hands, smell him, know he was with him. Like now, on a couch, Keith was able to wind his arms around his Lotor's waist and bury his face in his shoulder. Breathe him in and forget his worries.   


That is, until Allura came running into the room, urgently informing Lotor of a development with... whatever they were working on. Then Lotor was disentangling himself from Keith and that,  _ that _ did not feel good. Keith was left to watch his Lotor, who felt a lot less like  _ his _ Lotor, leave with the princess. His chest was as empty and cold as the expanse of space just beyond the Castle walls.    


When Lotor returned, Keith was irritable. He didn't want to be. He tried not to be. But try was still a far cry from success and he wasn't proud of himself.    


"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly, Keith, but there was a time sensitive development that could not be ignored." Lotor sat and reached for Keith's hand. The hand hung limp as a fish, not a single finger twitch in response.   


"Maybe you shouldn't leave it alone, then." Keith muttered, turning his face away.   


"Excuse me?" Lotor raised one elegant eyebrow.    


Keith didn't respond. He only glared at his lap, angry at himself for being so insecure, for letting his feelings get the best of him, but even deeper, more selfishly, he was angry at Lotor for spending all his time with Allura. It wasn't abandonment; he knew that, but he had to swallow back his tears and replace them with anger.   


"Keith, are you alright?"    


He huffed, his glower deepening, though it didn't leave his lap. "I'm fine."   


One clawed finger lit beneath Keith's chin, gently tugging his head to turn and face Lotor, though he kept his eyes stubbornly down, refusing to make eye contact.   


"You don't seem fine." His velvet voice chipped at Keith's defenses. 

"I'm fine." He mumbled again, trying to sound adamant. He could tell that he had failed.   


"Keith." Lotor whispered. "Please talk to me."   


He shook his head. Not because he was being stubborn, (well, not completely) but because he was worried about what would come out if he opened his mouth. Whatever control he had was tenuously tied to him not giving himself any leeway.   


Lotor sighed. "Okay, so you're mad. Is it because I had to leave earlier?"   


Keith bit his cheek. That was only part of it. The most recent part of everything that had him spiraling into a pit of insecurity and anger.    


"Keith." Lotor leaned forward, his warm breath ghosting across the man's face. "If you don't talk to me, I won't know how to help fix it. Please."

The dilemma now was that Keith could be stubborn, and he felt like he should stick to his silence; he felt as though he shouldn't be upset, and he shouldn't trouble Lotor with his unnecessary feelings. But the tremor in Lotor's voice betrayed that silence would only make things worse. Keith couldn't win.   


"It's dumb." He muttered. It wasn't much, but it was a start.   


"Your feelings are never dumb, love." Lotor's hand migrated from his chin until it was cupping his cheek.    


Keith sighed, finally looking at his boyfriend. His golden eyes were filled with concern. Keith knew that he didn't deserve him. 

"I just... feel like you'd rather spend time with Allura than me," he admitted, "and who could blame you? She's this gorgeous Altean princess, and super intelligent, and you get along so well... and I'm... just a boy from Earth. There's no reason to choose me over her."   


"My darling Keith. You are so much more than just a boy from Earth." Lotor's thumb gently stroked the soft flesh of his cheek. "You are the most exquisite creature I have ever laid eyes on. I chose you. Never mind that Allura could never be someone I'd consider anything more than a friend, I would not ever choose anyone over you." He dropped his hand, leaving Keith's cheek feeling cold from the lack of contact. "But I'm sorry that I made you feel like you are anything less than the most important part of my life. Believe me. I hope you can forgive me."   


Keith reached out, taking a purple hand in his. "I just don't want to lose you... but I wouldn't blame you for leaving."   


"The only way I'd ever walk away is if you asked me to. Otherwise, I'm here with you for good." Lotor promised. "I'll prove it, too. From now on, I'll only go work on the experiment if it's okay with you."   


"You don't need my permission." Keith replied, "I just..." he trailed off with a sigh.   


Lotor squeezed his hand. "It's okay. Like I said, nothing is more important than you. So, tonight I'm yours, and yours alone. I won't leave again."   


"But the experiment is important, too. You can't just not check on it." Keith argued half-heartedly.   


"That's what lab partners are for. Allura can handle it for one night."   


With one more sigh, Keith leaned in and rested his forehead on a lavender shoulder. "I do love you."   


Lifting his face, Lotor planted a gentle kiss on Keith's mouth. "I love you, too, my little red."   
  



End file.
